What is up with these song choices today?

"Sunglasses at Night"?
"Died in Your Arms Tonight"?
"Bring Me to Life"?
Anything by Meatloaf?!

Are you *trying* to coerce me into writing vampire fic again???

So, I feel like I should explain where the hell I've been the last few weeks.

( Cut for medical TMI and flashbacks! )

Pardon me, I'll just be over here kicking this unexploded shrapnel grenade.

AUGH AUGH AUGH IT IS QUARTERLY REPORT TIME AND I HATES IT, PRECIOUS. I HATES IT. IT BURNS USSSSSSSSSSSS!!!

So, I'm reading this book called Green Barbarians, which is (in a nutshell) about how the modern obsession with cleanliness is actually making us sicker as a society (I mean sick in the sense of "physically ill," not "mentally deranged," which everyone knows is caused by the Internet).

And in the course of my reading, I came across this passage, which amused me mightily:

"Dr. Alan R. Kirsch, director of the Smell and Taste Treatment and Research Foundation in Chicago, tested the aphrodisiac effects of certain odors on humans by attaching blood flow sensors to the essential body parts, and discovered that males are more aroused by the smell of cinnamon buns than they are by perfume, and that the combined smell of doughnuts and black licorice is even more scintillating than cinnamon buns, but the most powerful love potion of all is the odor of pumpkin pie and lavender commingling. Women, on the other hand, were titillated by the smell of licorice Good & Plenty candy and cucumber."

Apparently when we try to strike a man's heart through his stomach, we should actually be aiming quite a bit lower. ;)

This also explains why certain men of my acquaintance claim to get a boner when they smell good food.

So tell me Internets, what smells get you or your SO hot an' bothered?

It--it looks like a hydrocephalic Sontaran.

*head asplode*

In trading YouTube vids with draycevixen yesterday, I realized that my stock of WTF-type videos is sorely lacking in variety. So... suggest things! :D



Captain!Boss's response:

"Don’t you hate that?? Of course I’m busy – I work here. Nope, no details available. Move along, nothing to see here."

So, the storeroom in my office has a wobby doorframe. It's loud and really irritating whenever someone opens or closes the door, and it makes the door hard to close. So I decided to ask Graphicsman (the head of the Graphics team, natch) about it:

Me: "Graphicsman, the storeroom has a wobbly doorframe."

Graphicsman: "Do you think we should call Maintenance about it?"

Me (without thinking): "I think I could manage it with a good long screw."

BabyL'sMama (aghast): "Excuse me?!"

I busted out laughing. Graphicsman probably got it immediately, but he's one of the most pleasant and polite men I've ever met, and he pretended to be slow on the uptake and acting embarrassed on my behalf. BabyL'sMama immediately blamed her husband's influence for her dirty mind.

So, I tried to get back to the door:

Me: "Oh, there's already a screw there. If I had a screwdriver, I could—"

BabyL'sMama: "Screw the wall?"

Me: B^(

Graphicsman politely hands me a screwdriver. Fixing the doorframe requires me to get down on the tile, so I get down on my knees and wrench the metal frame back into place.

BabyL'sMama: "Is this in your job description? 'Wall screwing?'"

I lost it. So I'm lying on the tiles, giggling, and then—

Graphicsman: "And now she's prone on her back. Oh my."

BabyL'sMama: "I'm just glad Captain!Boss isn't here to see this."

Some days, I do love my job. *g*

(Yes, I fixed the doorframe.)

To all my F/SF peeps: I know plenty of essays and websites discussing what positive feminism is not, but can anybody point me towards resources about what positive feminism in F/SF is? Anything at all, I'm dyin' over here.

( My One Sentence Definition of Positive Feminism )

And now, a meme (ganked from rivendellrose):

Give me a pairing I know and a word/color/lyric/location/kink or cliche and I will write you at least 100 words of fic. You heard me.

Ganked from draycevixen and blythechild:

It's That Book Meme! XD

1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the next 4-7 sentences on your LJ along with these instructions.
5. Don't you dare dig for that "cool" or "intellectual" book in your closet! I know you were thinking about it! Just pick up whatever is closest.
6. Tag five people. Tag yer own damn selves.

(I actually had to use pg 122 because pg 123 only had five sentences.)

The hero was still just a precocious boy when he interrupted a huntsman on the point of carving up a newly killed hart:

"How now, master, what is this? In God's name stop! What are you at! Whoever saw a hart broken up in this fashion?"

The huntsman fell back a pace. "What do you want me to do with it then, boy?"

"In my land they excoriate a hart."

"Dear boy, what is 'excoriate'? I have never heard the word, and unless you show me I shan't have the slightest idea what it means."

Tristan proceeded to demonstrate his mastery of the art of butchering venison "according to the rules of the chase," allowing the poet to demonstrate in great detail his own mastery of the arcane jargon of hunting.

-- from 1215: The Year of the Magna Carta, by Danny Danziger & John Gillingham

Yeah, that's pretty much the sum of me. :)

Your result for The Fan Fiction Personality Test...

The Mindgamer

Everything is possible, nothing is ever really over.

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